And I have it.
Let me start by giving you a little insight to a regular day in my life and the jobs I hold.
My goal was to be a stay at home mommy for my kids. Unfortunately, in this day and age, living on one income is rather difficult. We can manage on one, but we have little to no money for extra luxuries. So here I am working more than one job to help us have a little extra cash. The jobs I have enable me to keep my kids with me, while saving money by not having to send them to daycare.
I babysit during the week, three kids total. Two brothers, my cousins kids, I have on average 3-4 days a week. Good kids, full of energy, good listeners, ages 3 and 5. When they aren't being typical brothers by picking on one another, or rather, the younger one picking on the older one, they are really good kids and very well behaved. The other little rug rat, another boy, is coming up on 2 years old. He is also part time, for now, but his mom is an accountant and come the first of the year, she works 3 months straight without a break. He's a great kid, too. Possibly the loudest kid on the face of the planet, but a really good kid, and extremely goofy. Keeps me laughing most of the time.
I also work in a woman's fitness center, currently in the childcare, but venturing on to bigger and better things. Working at this particular gym, I can bring the kids with me when I go. It works well, since I work the childcare, but I am currently preparing to be a class instructor and I am hoping to become a personal trainer. All of these require certifications, which I will have to get slowly, due to the cost. I am really looking forward to pursuing this path.
I also have my own little business, just a little online shop where I sell some things I make. More of a hobby than an income source.
I babysit to ensure a little income. The kids are all good kids, but after listening to kids scream all day, it wears on you. The gym is my fun job, the job for me. I get to workout whenever I want, and I'm getting to sub classes as an instructor, and I will be able to do so much more in the future with it.
Those are my easy jobs. The hard one? Motherhood.
To say it's difficult trying to balance the jobs I have to help my family, the job I have for me, and the biggest and most challenging, being a mom, is an understatement. My kids are the reason I babysit, so I have extra money to take them places and buy the things they want.
The difficulties lie in finding the time to dedicate to them, between having extra kids in my house and doing something for me, the gym. Through all these things, I feel like a negligent mother at times, and am very hard on myself. I can't always do what the kids need me to do, and I can't always keep my patience, after dealing all day with others. This takes it's toll on me more than you could ever realize.
Being a mom takes a lot out of you. You are now living your life not only for yourself, but for little ones who are dependant on you. And their needs are greater than yours, you always make sure they are taken care of before you. Not because you have to, but because you love nothing more.
It's so hard to protect and care for your heart when it's walking around outside your body.
Although it's a hard job, motherhood definitely has rewards, too. You can play with all the kids' cool toys. You can laugh, sing and dance whenever and not care about who might be watching. It's worth a little embarrassment to hear your kids laugh. For the first time in your life, you discover what true love really means. When they come home with a book of their favorites they made at school with you listed as their favorite person, your heart completely melts. When they look at you with their wide eyes and say "luz you mommy" it makes your heart completely explode with love.
While it might be the toughest job in the world, every moment you have with your kids is worth so much more than any sacrifice you make for them.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
And I have it.
Posted by Debi at 8:54 AM